An actual email I found in my inbox this morning, sent to everyone at the lab:
Ummm.... Someone misplaced a pair of blue underpants in the SW Addition stairwell. Have them in my office (140A) if you need them back.
And a response received this afternoon:
I have thought of two possible responses to your email. You can select the one you like best.
RESPONSE 1 Yeah they are mine but I don't need them any more.
RESPONSE 2 Do you want to change offices with me.